We had a wonderful day stacking handcarts at Martin's Cove and then doing the hike around it. It was a lot of fun. Like 30 missionaries were there and it was a blast. I got to see Sister Johnson and it was so good to talk to someone normal: just surf, sunshine and shaka hahahaha! I spent a lot of time with Elder Delgado talking about transitioning from Los Angeles/San Diego life to mission life in Wyoming. It's hard. I didn't realize how hard it was till I lay here tonight after such an uplifting conversation with him. After hanging out with him, I feel like I have been reminded how much I've really been stretching myself and getting used to different people. It was nice to be around someone I found it so easy to talk to. I love Elder Delgado. We are so similar in so many ways. He just speaks a little of my language: we both love and appreciate art in different but similar ways. First we talked about art and compassionate art -- thinking in others’ shoes and then anime (and the art in that) and other stuff. It was great to talk about art and writing. He has a few poems that are unreal. I connected with them so much. He is from LA and is a convert to the church. He fell away and then came back and is now on a mission and is one of the strongest people. He is super funny and is just himself. I want to be like him, in the way of how confident he is with struggle and also with being himself. He said “when people don’t like me I'll tone it down but I'll never bend to their will. I don’t want to change who I am.” It was nice to talk to someone who understands living in a city with no church members with the beach and having fun. He was just chill. I am so blessed to be here. So many good people here. I prayed super hard for opportunities to do service and be like Ammon: live and work for free in the land. I had the chance today because someone posted on Facebook that we give free service. This one man called and said he needed help because of some surgeries he had had and needed to clip and cut some trees. We did, for like two hours, and at the end he got us pizza. He continually thanked us for our efforts. We said we didn't accept payment. When we went inside to eat the pizza (Little Caesar’s, haha), he asked us all of these different questions about being a missionary and said he was trying to learn more about Christ. We just talked with him. He told us to stop by any time we were in the neighborhood because he just lost two jobs because of health stuff and is home most of the day. It was great, I could see the Lord smiling and answering all my prayers. We had three service appointments set up throughout the week and then one other that went ok. The Lord has answered my prayer to relax and have fun, to be myself, and to have people to confide in. He also gave me the words in the moment that I needed them when I gave an on-the- spot lesson. I talked about giving thanks in your prayers and praying for support in your trials. The lesson was at the same house where I first saw the Surf Wyoming sticker and thought it was hilarious. Then we went and did service where we chipped paint off this guy’s house. When we were biking over, I pressed down on the pedal and it broke. My foot hit and folded on the ground, the same foot I rolled a few weeks prior. I am still working on my language! Anyway, Elder Laudie eventually came back -- he did not see me stop because he was ahead. I had stripped the pedal from the axle and now had a broken bike. I rode it like a scooter for about a mile. I began to go uphill and asked if we could walk and Elder Laudie insisted on taking my bike and switching him. I gave in to the kind offer and he rode it to the house where we were doing service. The guy asked us a lot of questions about being a missionary and appreciated our service. Later, Elder Laudie was sick and couldn’t go out, so Elder Kelly and I went out. We went to L’s house. She began telling us about the hardships she was going through for years and how she was going through so much for so long and didn’t know why because she was a good person. I talked about Nephi on the boat being tied up by his brothers. I talked about the calm that would come. I talked about joyfully doing all in our power and standing still to see the hand of God in our life. I challenged her to read and pray about things she's thankful for, for others, and then herself. Hopefully, her life improves. When I meet people with such severe life challenges and self doubts, it makes me feel thankful for what I am and have gone through. My life has not been as difficult, but the difficulties I have had, like a truck with a heavy load, taught me how to find traction on the road. I am able to use those experiences to better others and myself, if I lean on the Lord. I can testify of this fact because I've gone through specific trials, and those trials have transformed me. I am sometimes discouraged, I don’t know why. I'll just get quiet and hang behind. But as soon as a lesson hits I have much to say and enjoy myself as long as I say what invites the spirit and what is honest. After the lesson with L, I felt good. It was a sweet spirit. I nearly cried. I felt a little like I was mourning with those who mourn. Will I look back and see the blessings from this? Are my sufferings in vain? Will others benefit? Will my wife be blessed? Will my kids be bettered and learn from my "wandering in the wilderness?” I actually noticed that during church and priesthood meeting, the words spoken held more weight today. Elder Laudie is listening to a talk right now by Elder Holland. It just said that we may never be closer to God than when we struggle. At another lesson, a kid called us in his prayer “the Lord’s workers.” I took that. Anyway, I really enjoyed the lesson and could point to scriptures, teach, and comfort. I could see the words coming as I needed them. Elder Kelly told me afterward, “I heard Elder Asher tell Elder Laudie that his greenie was dope” (I rode with Elder Asher up to FoCo and had a great convo), “but man, you can teach! That was amazing. Don’t let anyone tell you you're a bad missionary.” I realize now that might be a reference to the time I rolled on my suitcase and everyone thought I was a bad missionary. I thought that was the kindest and most meaningful line in his compliment. He also said, “man I've been out for 7 months and I'm still a goob.” I was touched by that. I’ve been struggling with prayer, and during Elder Kambale’s fireside a thought came to me that journaling is a form of prayer and God is listening and I appreciated that. Maybe I'm going through these challenges to be closer to God and be more compassionate and loving. I find myself in more sincere prayer (often not on my knees but in silence throughout the day, listening more intently, in deeper reflection and more meaningful scripture study). All things I have prayed for pretty hard. ALSO, “B”… THAT GIRL THAT CAT-CALLED US ON THE STREET MY FIRST WEEK AND WE GAVE A BOOK OF MORMON TO AND TOLD HER MY TESTIMONY? SHE IS BEING BAPTIZED!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s crazy. We lost contact with her because her phone number never worked, but the sisters ran into her and now she is scheduled for baptism. I have no idea how or why, but wow. God works through many tools and in unusual ways. We had an appointment at the L's. We prepared a lesson and I felt I wasn't feeling the spirit and couldn’t give the lesson. After I said a prayer, I trusted God would help. I walked in and it was just Brother L. We just talked about random stuff and eventually he began talking about his mental health. I listened and asked questions. The spirit was strong, and I typically don’t like sharing about my personal struggles, but I felt as though I should. I gave him a little bit of my story and how I have learned to live and trust the Savior with the problems I have. It was a good exchange of thoughts and just connecting with us. He told us we were the first missionaries to actually stop and stay and talk with him for a long time. It was an exact answer to my prayer of why I’ve had a certain struggle. Because I've asked my own questions and wrestled with them, I know what it's like and can share. It felt so good to relax and really try to help this person. It was like when we taught "D" and he felt comfortable to share about his bipolar disorder and other struggles. It was odd, but I was able to draw back to personal experiences and comfort them and help them because I have been blessed so much with a good family, school, doctors, and friends where I had padding to fail and fall -- to learn what worked and what didn't. I have no idea, but I can see just a glimpse of how my trials are blessings to others. It was fantastic. What a good God, to send me to Wyoming to this random apartment to help the dad of this one family with his struggles with mental health. How could I even begin to imagine the carefully integrated structure that God has? Anyway, I also actually shared a bit of the Marine Corp Recruit Depot movie I made in high school, which was fun. Talking about how I'm blessed makes me feel better. It's how I know this church is true and it makes me happy. Also, Kanye threw a Sunday Service for those families who were his new neighbors in Cody, WY. I want so bad to be there. It was supposed to be huge. Nate Osborn sent me the best email. It was a picture of him and Mike with two medals holding up a backpack. He told me he got third at Mount Carmel with a time of 16:35. I know that's super fast, very impressive! I love that kid. He is so good. I can’t wait to email him and talk with him on how he’s doing and how he is feeling. I am so happy he is doing well and hope he snags my PR. PLNU Public Safety for the win. Reed apparently is injured and working through it. Nate emailed me last week and said top three was his goal. He told me that he went out too fast. He always reminds me of me so much, in the sense of nothing was ever a perfect race. He did so well and I'm so proud of him. "Early and Often!" I want to do that cheer again. I'm glad I did what I did. I'm glad it led me here and I'm glad I'm here. Sometimes I miss the backpacks, sweats, and dead grass of a meet in the late summer of SD, but it's alright, I enjoyed it while I was there. Time to get in some running before it's too late here in Casper.
0 Comments
If you were to tell me two years ago that that I’d be happy standing in a Walmart parking lot without having seen my friends or family, with no iphone, and just going around and talking to random people all day—I wouldn’t have believed it. Well, it may surprise you, but I have never felt as happy and fulfilled as I do in my life now. In losing so much that I love by doing this work, I have gained a happiness and fulfillment I didn't know was possible. So, writing to you from Casper, Wyoming, I have a few stories to tell. And these are some of my most treasured memories now. This week was amazing. I have felt so, so blessed recently. First off, I was able to go running! Due to some odd companionship exchanges that day, we ended up with a car and went trail running up in the mountains that we had hiked earlier. We also went mountain biking this morning for P day, but that's another story. We had a wonderful week of teaching. We helped someone who is scheduled for baptism chop some wood. He is trying really hard to stop smoking but it is so hard. We just talked with him and had lunch and worked for about five hours. I loved it. We had fun. I gave my first Priesthood blessing today to a lady who said she really needed a blessing. I had Elder Laudie go over it with me in the white handbook two nights ago, I felt I needed it. When we asked who she wanted to give the blessing she asked for me. I didn't know how to do it and haven't done one before, but I was able to do it. I was super nervous. I did alright, I was shaky in the beginning, but then took a breath and started speaking through the spirit as best I could. We went from that house to the hospital to visit a guy who likes to be called Fuzzy. He’s a funny guy. He had had a heart attack earlier in the morning. We went and visited him and talked, and when Elder Laudie asked if he had a preference for who gave him a blessing, the same thing happened as earlier in the day. I was able to give the blessing and speak by the spirit. (Hopefully, lol.) I cannot believe what happened today. It was unreal. We set our weekly goals to find 2 new people to teach over the whole week. To give you an idea, we have only found 2 total the past three weeks. Well, we found three, and two return appointments...in half a day! We stopped by to see Gianna -- she was the one we found when we were out till 9 pm and were about to go home after praying hard for a miracle that we would find someone. Her kids were out front and we went up and she said she'd actually love us to come back. This was a few weeks ago and we nearly forgot to return, but we stopped by today and talked with her for a small bit. She has three daughters, two in middle school and one in Kindergarten. Anyway, we taught her and she asked questions and said she wanted to find out first herself. It was such a brief lesson, but wow. Elder Laudie and I went around the block and immediately offered a prayer of gratitude for we felt such a strong spirit and were so excited for her. We then went back and had a fun District Council and personal study time. It was 3:00. We had one new person. We went to our appointment with Aaron, the boy at the porch who keeps wanting us to come back, and we love him. He wasn't home. We then walked around that area till our appointment with Erika and Esteban’s family, which we were extremely excited about. We approached this one house and as we knocked he walked up and said "I don’t come to your house, don’t you come to mine." I thought it was so disheartening and rude, his whole attitude was infectiously sad. I didn't want it to get the best of me. We then went to Erika, it was just her. We taught her on the porch, but she seemed not too interested. It was odd having a Twilight love scene going on in the background while we taught, but lol. We taught her and you could feel the spirit, I hope she could. I really want to talk to Estiban, her son, because he likes us and seems super interested in the gospel. She said that she lets her children discuss any religion and wants them to find out for themselves. Anyway, we'll be back. We had extra time, so we went and visited Katie and her baby. We found out last week that she was actually already a church member. We asked her about herself, and she said she grew up here and that her parents were members of the church. She said she hadn't been to church in a long, long time, but really wanted her daughter to go. Her name was Bently, and she was two months old. Her husband doesn't want to go though. She expressed serious interest in having us come back and teach her husband in order to help rid the stereotypes and misconceptions he may have about the church. Anyway, we’re super excited about that and teaching her husband. We love her and hope to help the whole family to get that daughter to church. How cool would that be! Anyway, we then went to dinner at the Baker’s house. It was nice. Elder Laudie said his uncle was a feet, hands and mouth doctor—we kind of paused and then I asked if that was a thing. Anyway, Elder Laudie and I laughed pretty hard at that. He also farted super loud but quick during the dinner and we don’t think they noticed, lol. We have been trying to stop and talk to everyone we meet. We biked away from the Baker’s and three houses down, someone just pulled in and got our of their car. Elder Laudie offered the message about Jesus Christ and the Book of Mormon and, as we were almost biking away, the guy said yes. What? Really? Ok! Elder Laudie had to pump the breaks and the guy really seemed interested. He said he just loves knowledge. We gave him the Book of Mormon and testified of its truthfulness. I love him. He seems really interested and has a humble heart, open mind, and a readiness to receive. He is a young adult who just bought a house. Good time for the gospel. So much happened I forgot to mention that we stopped by someone we met weeks earlier and she was in her garden. We talked with her and she said she really wanted to come to church. Wow. What? The Lord is just raining down blessings, you can see it everywhere. It's amazing. She wants to come to church and we gave her the address and I sure hope she comes. She says she's been trying to go back and find a church. Perfect, I've got the one for you, come follow me! We gave her the address and time and can’t wait to see her there. So, after giving an absolute prayer of gratitude for meeting Kyle, the other new person we saw after the Baker’s, we biked up the hill and stopped to see where to go with the last hour of the day. We were waiting there when a garage opened up to a 68 Ford, I forgot the model but it was like a wagon style, super cool. I hopped off my bike and asked her about the car. Talked with her a little and then asked if she would be interested in hearing a short message about Jesus Christ. Maybe not tonight, she said slowly and thoughtfully. I asked about another time. “How about Friday?” What! Ok ok ok! What time? Let's goooooo! We got on our bikes and have been spiritually buzzed for a while now. Thought I'd write all of these blessings down to remind myself and my children that when times get rough, it's always for your good and you should look forward with an eye of faith. What a blessing it is to be here working and to experience the love God has for us and his children. I'm sure there will be slow days, but I pray to remember these times and to bask in difficulty, to learn, to grow, and to become more mature. I got a big box in the mail with the rest of my winter stuff. It was filled with food and Full Send gloves and Full Send/Jerry of the Day headbands from Jenn. I gave one to my comp, and mom sent a Kodak Black Sniper Gang mask. Looks good with my missionary ‘fit.
This week has been absolutely fantastic! It was a lot of hard work and searching. I have had a great week. Honestly, I've been working on relaxing and having fun. Not that I'm that uptight, but I stress about little things. I have come to learn, not just through this week but many, about relaxing and not worrying if every little thing is correct. Sometimes, we forget about the joy in the journey. During a district meeting, we were discussing how we should not compare ourselves to others. We often draw a line between the people we know we should be, the one who's making all the good decisions and is perfect, and who we are now. We have these two ideas in our head, of who we should be and who we are. We are not two people, we are only one. We are imperfect, and we should experience joy in the journey to becoming Christlike. If we don’t, we'll never be fulfilled because we will never be complete or perfect in this life. I thought about D&C 123:17 about joyfully doing all things that lie in our power, and then relying on Christ. I love that scripture. It brings me so much happiness and fulfillment. We are finding fulfillment in this life, and that's so much fun! We had a fun experience riding our bikes a few weeks ago. I felt that we should talk to this family on their porch that we passed. We turned around and asked them if they'd like to hear our message. They seemed interested but asked for us to come back another time. We went back a few different times. The first time we met the niece, who was nice. We met the son another time, and he seemed really interested. We swung by and finally met the mom and taught her. I did not catch this, but Elder Laudie told me that as we were asking her to read and ask Heavenly Father through prayer if these things were true, she said, "I believe all of these things, that makes sense to me...yes.” What!? I'm excited to return next week and visit the whole family. I am stoked for this family. I hope it goes over well with the mother. We got a referral from the sister missionaries this week. Oh man. It was a girl they said was super interested and was reading the Book of Mormon and wanted us to come back and teach more. Being the young, enthusiastic missionaries we are, we jumped on our bikes and rode over there the next day. She wasn't home. We tried three times more that day but she just didn't seem to be home. The next day we stopped by three times, which admittedly seems like a lot. However, we thought she wanted to hear back and just didn't catch her at home because she was busy. Then, on the eighth attempt, there was a large sign on the door that read, NAPPING, DO NOT DISTURB. Well, alright. We felt pretty bad about it. We eventually figured out we had her number (dur) and sent her a text and she was super receptive and said she was really busy but wants to meet some time. Third and final story from the book of tracting interactions: we met a lady who said to come by another time. We stopped by once, she wasn't home. We stopped by eight times the next day. Just kidding, that's insane. However we did stop by a couple days later and her son answered the door. He was 13. We asked if his mom was home and she was not, so we asked if he could relay that we had been there. We were about to leave, walking down the steps, and the boy asked, are you talking about Bible stuff? With the many "hail satan!", no’s, and unanswered doors we’re used to encountering, I whipped my head around so fast I might have had whiplash. “Yea, we are,” we said, surprised. We hopped out on the porch, and he closed the door behind him and said, “well I can talk about that.” What? You can? Or want to? Well alright. We gave the message of the Restoration and the story of the Book of Mormon, and asked him some questions about him. He has read parts of the Bible and is interested in our religion. He loves baseball and is in eighth grade. He is essentially an angel, he just wanted to listen and talk and was genuine. So cool. We asked him if he wanted to read the Book of Mormon, he said he did. We dropped by a children's book of Mormon, per his request, and set it in the mailbox because he wasn't home. We stopped by a couple days later, they were not home, however, the children's Book of Mormon was not in the mailbox. I hope he is enjoying it. Some sister missionaries (who sent us to the lady we awoke from napping) called us and mentioned they were driving down to Fort Collins early in the morning for a meeting. We said we'd leave some fresh peaches, which we got for free from someone at church, in a bin outside our apartment. I thought it would be hilarious if we woke up and surprised them with me inside the bin. We woke up at 4:30 to scare the sister missionaries and hid in the plastic bin outside our apartment for 25 minutes until they came. My neck was pretty sore. We went on a six mile hike this morning and it was unreal. It was so pretty, and the view was amazing. It was so fun to get up in the mountains and walk around and hike. I'm going running this week hopefully, my ankle did not feel that bad on the hike, so I'm building it back. Just got to be careful. I am trying to improve and take initiative in my work. I love the Lord. I can look back at specific moments in my life where I could feel His spirit and Him move me into position to handle situations I didn't understand. Before I left, it would have really bothered me to be called Elder Whiteley instead of Henry, or to wear the name tag with a short-sleeved shirt. I remember when I first started, I felt reluctant, but that impulse also felt wrong. So, I leaned into it. I wasn't all the way sure, but I have a love for it now. I can feel my mind in the right place. Those gentle reminders are so crucial to our well-being and to us coming closer to Christ. Following those impulses changed me. By submitting to the will of the Father, I am better and full of love and happiness. My days are full. I feel fulfilled in this work. I am trying my best, giving my all joyfully. I love it here and I wouldn't trade it for anything. If you want to feel full, serve others with all your heart and love them fully. John 15:14 says that there is no greater love than this; that a man lay down his life for his friends. I Cor. says to become weak that you may help the weak, you give all to save some. That seems so sad, to lose all. But any of you who lose your life for Christs' sake (matt. 10:39), will find it manyfold. Editor's Note: When I spoke with Henry's companion he told me he had gained forty pounds on his mission but that he has lost twenty since meeting Henry three weeks ago. I had a crazy P-day today. My phone died and stuff. I am so sorry I haven't been able to email anyone. I love you all. So sorry if I did not email you!!!! I really want to but it is so busy here. If it weren't, I wouldn't be on a mission. Please email-- I love to hear from you and will respond as soon as I can. This week has been odd. I've had a great week and a rough week. Well, after the ankle miracle, it seems to only be a sprain! I am honestly so grateful. I was able to bike on my foot all week, which was really great. I have been able to walk on it and it's been pretty much fine; the worst that has happened was a few minutes ago while playing a game of Zombies with Nerf guns in the church -- I rolled it just standing there. It popped, far less loud than last time, but it hurt and now I write you while kicking up my foot on a carpeted stage. We taught a lot of people this week. First, we taught a man who had previously been taught by the missionaries but whom we had not met except at church. We walked into his home with a member of the bishopric who told us, "you must meet James and get to know him." We started the lesson and didn't have to say a word. He was teaching us subjects we didn't even think about and quoting scriptures from the Bible and the Book of Mormon. It was such a powerful experience. He had such a strong spirit. We had a short talk with the bishopric member and he told us about all of the people being taught before we got there whom we have yet to meet. We got super excited and were super pumped about missionary work. We desired to read the scriptures more and so we made a plan to read even more by waking up earlier. It's great how good testimonies can uplift you sooo high! I was so pumped and ready to labor. Later in the week, however, I just wasn't able to perform this goal. I was falling asleep during scripture study and it was super difficult. I had struggles all week with this. I try my best, but I fall short either with wondering thoughts or fading in and out. But I just continued trying. I often find myself wrestling with feeling inadequate, either because I struggle focusing, not staying as reverent as I should be, struggling with discerning the spirit, or not spending spare time the best way. Nonetheless, I have found that getting out and praying for forgiveness and genuinely putting myself out there helps me to grow. Last Sunday I felt like I should go up and talk about miracles and sacrifice during testimony meeting. It's kind of like an open mic once a month at Sunday services. I went up, made a joke about how I was from San Diego (peaked their interest), said Wyoming was a little different (got laughs), and then said it dipped below 65 last winter so this should be fun (more laughs). I then spoke briefly about how I had not seen miracles in my life like I had on my mission. I often read about mighty miracles, but feel as though they do not happen around me. I said that the way I've started to see miracles is through action and sacrifice. If you want to see miracles, give everything you have to the Savior, align your will with His, and serve your fellow man. I loved bearing my testimony and got very teary-eyed talking about sacrificing everything to the Lord. Sometimes it can be extremely discouraging on a mission. I felt extreme discouragement and yet have seen with my eyes some of the most astounding blessings in my life. I love it but I have also hurt through it. The two messages I picked up from zone conference were to be positive and expect miracles. After a long day, and feeling a little down about the way I had spent some spare time, I prayed very sincerely for a prompting about where we should knock doors. My companion and I both had the idea to go to a specific street. We arrived and nothing happened. We knocked multiple doors and got no answers. As we were leaving, I turned around and saw a little girl jump out of the car and run inside. We went back and decided that we should knock one more door. The girl opened the door and her mom was like "what are you doing? No!" which made us laugh. The mom came out and surprisingly seemed really interested in our message. We asked her when would be a good time and she said "any time but right now" which made us laugh more. Since it was 8:45 and the first day of school was the next day, we didn't know if she'd ever really want to see us, but she scheduled an appointment for the next day. I learned in my zone meeting that when you ask God about a challenge and wonder why you are going through a difficult challenge, you're not alone. Moses, Jesus, Nephi, and others have asked the same question. I can see miracles, and with all the energy of my soul I want you to feel these blessings too. I invite you to study and pray for miracles and ways you can sacrifice to grow closer to God. It has been really difficult, but the more I sacrifice to God, both in my physical life and in my thoughts and desires, the better I feel and the more I see His hand in my life. I love you all and hope to talk to you soon, but not too soon, I still have like a little less than two years, haha! |
|